Hailey's Life Unfiltered & Unscripted

February 25, 2025

Hey! My name is Hailey! I recently was reading my mom's blog and it made me feel connected to her on a deeper level. I got to experience her life in the moment. How she was feeling. What she was experiencing. And it was different than any story she could ever tell me. It was cool to see my memories from her perspective. So I felt inspired to write and start my own blog!

My hope is that one day I can show it to my kids and they can see how I experienced life as 22 year old and so on. In my mom's blog, it was very real and she talked about things she struggled with (being pregnant with my youngest brother while losing her mom, my grandma, to cancer, having to take her husband into the ER, and then spending 2-3 weeks there with him while doctors were trying to figure out what was wrong). Maybe at some point, I'll come back and add the link to her blog here.

I don't want it to be a daily journal but more like random life updates. My mom posted when she felt like it (after trips, during big life events, etc.) and it's comforting to know that I don't need to feel pressured to post regularly. I'm not doing this for a following but legitimately for my future kids so they can watch me figure out how to be an adult.

I have no clue what I am doing setting up this blog so we will see how long it lasts, if I switch domains, if I figure it out or give up.

Who am I and Where am I?

As a brief introduction that I may go into more detail later... A little more about me and who I am. Hi! I'm Hailey. I am currently 22, and living out in Orem, Utah. I moved to Utah on Aug 18 2022. I have been out here since! I moved here for school and am attending Utah Valley University; originally studying dental hygiene, but as soon as I stepped out of my first anatomy class I knew I needed to switch majors. My therapist, Jen, has suggested that I would be a good therapist so I thought I would take a few classes just to see. Well, I fell in love, and right now that's where I am at!

I graduated with my Associates December of 2023? I think... It hasn't even been that long. Ha! But I am currently, slowly working on my Bachelor in Family Science! I love it! I love the classes! And I would love to be in school for the rest of my life. I could see myself eventually becoming a professor, but right now my main goal is to get my bachelor's, get my master's in Marriage and Family Therapy, and get settled a little in life.

Let's get some background:

Where am I from? Who's in my family?

I grew up in Roseville, CA! Beautiful, warm, safe, Roseville. I only moved once when I was 4 months old into the house I grew up in. And it literally was a 10-minute drive away. I am the second child out of four. One older sister and two younger brothers: Kayla (24), Me (22), Evan (19), and Trevor (13). I also grew up with dogs! I loved all of them!

First was Max! He was a black lab, as were most of our dogs. He was my dad's bachelor dog and wasn't well trained, not that I knew or minded. I assume he did well with us kids cause I never remember there being a problem. I can't remember how old I was when he passed, but he was old, I think like 14.

Next was Cody! Another Black lab. We got him a few years after Max passed. I remember being in the car driving through the mountains when my parents mentioned getting another dog. I think us kids (this was before Trevor was born, so just us oldest 3) had been asking for a dog for a while. He was a great dog, and we had him for my later elementary years (around 5th grade). He went on camping trips with us and was a happy boy! Unfortunately, he passed at 4 years old from a disease he got drinking from the fountain in the back yard. I still remember the day that my mom picked us up from school and told us he and passed away. It was a Friday and we were going to head over to the Fife's house for a play date. Kayla I think decided to go home. I cried for a little bit in the school parking lot before wanting the distraction of hanging out with my friend Sidney. I remember that Christine, their mom, made chicken noodle soup. We've had it many times since then but I remember this being the first time I had it.

Next was Cooper! Shocker, he's also a black lab. He is currently 11, got him back in 2014. We asked for a 'marshmallow', essentially the laziest pup in the litter, and boy does he fit the bill. We love him and call him our grumpy old man. He's been around for many camping trips and all my big life events! He's become more cuddly in his old age, or maybe just more jealous of his little brother. Thats right! Currently, we have 2 dogs!

Luca was my replacement when I moved out. He is a cute little golden doodle with lots of spunk! We got him 2 weeks before I moved out for college. My mom confided in my that one of the reasons that we got Luca was to help Kayla when I moved out, to keep her mind off the fact that I was moving out before her. I remember how we chose Luca's name. We were all in the backyard doing yard work thinking of names for the puppy we had picked out from the litter and the movie Luca has just come out and we were just throwing random names out, I said Luca as a joke but we actually all liked it and when you have 5 people all trying to decide on a name, the first one you all like sticks, you don't try and find other names. Anyways, he's a cutie. He's mom's baby and Trevor's partner in crime!

So now that I've spoken more about my dogs than the people in my family let's move on to them in quicker summaries:

Kayla! The older sister and firstborn. I always mention to people that she has had severe anxiety her whole life. It's important to me because it was a huge factor in how I was raised and what my life looked like. I was her guinea pig, if I could do it and it was safe she would do it too. Learning to swim, drive a car, move out. It's still happening but at this point, it doesn't affect me as much because I'm just living my life. Currently, she is still living at home, working 2 jobs (Gap and Jamba-with Samantha[a childhood friend that grew up across the street from us and still lives there at home too]) and Kayla is currently back in school this semester for the first time since Covid.

Evan! He is a tech wizard! Right now he is living back at home. He moved out to live in Klamath Falls Oregon to be closer to his girlfriend Bitsy! I love Bitsy! She's basically already my sister. Anyways, she didn't like the soccer team she was playing on up at Oregon Tech so she decided to move back home to go to Folsom College. Bitsy's family was in the same ward as ours and we've known them for 12 years. They started dating 2 years ago? Two and a half? I'm not 100% sure, but I am pretty sure they are going to get married. (imagine if this ages poorly and they don't get married, embarrassing). Evan is a tech genius! I always call him when something isn't working or I need help doing something. He can pretty much teach himself anything. He is also very patient and a good listener. He has raised the standards for my future husband (sorry babe [wherever you are cause I haven't dated you yet]). I go to Evan when I need someone to listen and validate me. He is such a gentle soul and so loving.

Trevor! T-man! He is a cutie! I love seeing his personality develop! He loves video games and is homeschooled. When he's not doing either of those activities he his messing with Luca! I wrestle with him when I visit home! Mainly because where he's got the height and muscle, he doesn't know how to use them yet so I can still beat him and it makes me feel strong! We get into tickle wars when I'm home too, I don't like those as much. I love seeing him smile and be happy! I can tell he misses me when I am home. Mainly because he will listen to anything I ask of him and he gets pretty cuddly.

My dad is one tough cookie. Not physically, I wouldn't describe him as big or strong. But with everything he's been through... I'm proud of him. 5 years ago he had a stroke and a few years before that he was hospitalized for something the doctors took forever to figure out and I can't remember what it is off the top of my head. He had really intense dyslexia his whole life and needed a lot of help throughout school. After the stroke, he had to relearn to speak and is still working on the writing and reading aspect, though I don't see it getting much better from here. He hasn't been able to go back to running the landscaping business he started, leaving my mom to run it. But he does go down to the yard to play in the bobcat and dirt every day. He is hyper-fixated on it.

My mom is great! She is still kicking after everything and the inspiration for my blog. Also one of the reasons I am currently in therapy (I lack boundaries and am a people pleaser, especially with her. Trying to focus on being her daughter and not her emotional support person). But that's beside the point. I admire my mom's strength, endurance, resilience, and all the synonyms and praise to this woman. I do not want her life, but I admire how she has handled all her challenges. My dad is a different person than she married and she's taken care of her sister-in-law for a year and a half off and on.

So where am I now?

Well, currently I am sitting on my couch, approaching 2 months of unemployment, 3 weeks into therapy, running out of money, desperate for jobs, hating the job market and not in school.

So backing up a little bit, I lost both my jobs in December :( and I haven't been able to find a job. It is hard. I am really struggling. Because I didn't/don't have a job I decided to drop this semester of school. It was a really hard decision. I like being in school and have a hard time when plans change. But I don't want to get into debt and take out a loan. I've barely gotten by these last 2 months because of babysitting jobs. I can't tell you how blessed I have been to babysit for Katie, she buys me dinner, or makes something and it's a little mental reprieve from me having to make something or to get takeout that I've been craving but can't afford. Another thing that has helped is donating plasma. I call it my blood money. But it helps me stay mentally sane buy allowing me to fund my crafts and do fun things with my friends, the downside? I hate donating plasma. I get so anxious that my blood pressure is to high to donate and I have to wait 10 minute for it to calm down (during those 10 minutes I am continuously doing breathing exercises to calm down).

My mental health has sucked :/ I have a hard time calling home because I don't feel like I have anything worth reporting, am anxious about talking about potential job offers, or feel guilty that I did something fun with friends when I am struggling financially. I got real depressed for a few weeks and decided I needed therapy. So my therapy, currently funded by my mom, has been helping me process and feel emotions. Imagine being told and recognizing how many emotions you suppress It's not fun. Took me a day before I felt like I wanted to leave my apartment. Anyways my therapist's name is Sara and she has been great these last 3 session. I am going to have a session recorded next week so her boss can give her pointers on her therapy style. I'm nervous to try it but I'm a little excited too.

Why write a blog?

As I mentioned, I want something for my future kids to look back on and see, 'This is how mom became an adult', 'This is how she figured it out', or even 'This is how she met dad.' How cute would it be for my kids to look back and see our love story unfold! Life is hard and having the raw, unfiltered, unscripted parts on 'digital paper' from a first-hand account while things are happening, with me processing emotions and events in real-time would be a different real and authentic perspective to have while my kids are trying to figure out how to become adults. Or hey if you're some random person that's somehow stumbled upon my blog, maybe you'll see some of yourself reflected in my life story and learn a thing or feel seen and validated. So welcome to my unfiltered and unscripted life.