Existing between loving my life and hating it
There is nothing I love more than being a nanny. I love spending time with babies, cradling them all day long, hushing cries, rocking babies, and snuggling them while they sleep. Watching them figure out the world, learning to roll, babble; their growth is incredible. I love taking them on walks; they usually nap, but I love being able to get outside in the springtime. I love that when they nap, I can work on homework or scroll on my phone, that I am free to do what I want in the downtime. I love that I get paid to pretend to be a mom. I love that I get to get them dressed in the cutest little baby outfits and they have the cutest little sunglasses. I loathe coming home to an empty apartment. Never have I thought empty arms could feel so heavy and empty at the same time. I find myself swaying when talking to my friends, a habit from holding precious little babies all day long. I hate coming home to an apartment where I live alone, to a life where there is no husband or kids, where...